God Comforts Us So We Can Comfort Others

Grief is a journey no one chooses but almost everyone walks. In my own journey, I’ve discovered an incredible truth: God comforts us so we can comfort others. This is not just a platitude; it’s a lifeline of hope. The Apostle Paul reminds us of this in 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NLT):
“All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.”

God doesn’t simply meet us in our pain to heal us and leave us. He does so to equip us to walk beside others in their pain. And for me, this realization changed how I view my grief.

A group of men sitting in silence around a glowing campfire in a forest clearing at night, with the firelight illuminating their faces against a dark, starry sky. — Silence around the fire—a shared moment of reflection and unity.

Learning to Be Comforted

When Wendy passed, I didn’t want comfort—I wanted answers. I was angry at God, drowning in sorrow, and deeply missing my partner of 33 years. But as the weeks and months went by, God’s comfort came in ways I never expected:

A card with a heartfelt message.
A friend’s text that came just when I was at my lowest.
A warm hug or handshake that didn’t require words.

Each small act reminded me that I wasn’t alone. Slowly, I began to see how God was using people to show me His love. It was through their actions, their presence, and their willingness to just “be there” that I found strength to keep moving forward.

A split-scene image showing a Pastor speaking compassionately on his cell phone in his office, and an older grieving man holding a cell phone in his living room, reflecting comfort and connection. — Sometimes, a simple call can be the lifeline someone needs—showing God’s love through connection.

Passing Comfort Along

As I have been comforted, I now feel compelled to share that comfort with others. Whether it’s listening to someone talk about their loved one, sending a simple message, or just being present, I’ve realized that God uses us to be His hands and feet in someone’s grief.

Comforting others doesn’t mean having all the answers—it means showing up. When we lean into the pain of others, we reflect the heart of God.

A cozy living room with a white-washed fireplace and a big screen TV showing a Buffalo Bills vs. Kansas City Chiefs football game. Family members are seated on two love seats and two recliners, wrapped in blankets, creating a warm and inviting atmosphere. — Family time, blankets, and football—cherished moments together during the big game.

What to Say and What Not to Say

Many people struggle with what to say to someone who is grieving, and unfortunately, well-meaning words often hurt more than they heal. Here’s some advice from my own experience:

What Not to Say:

“I’m sorry for your loss.”
While this is a common phrase, it often feels shallow to the grieving person. You may feel sorry, but you’re nowhere near as heartbroken as they are. Instead, share a specific memory or reason you’ll miss their loved one.
“They’re in a better place.”
Even if this is true, it doesn’t take away the pain of missing them. Focus instead on being present and acknowledging their grief.
“I know how you feel.”
Grief is deeply personal, and no two people experience it the same way. Avoid making their loss about your experiences.

What to Say Instead:

Share a personal story.
“I’ll always remember how Wendy lit up every room she walked into. She inspired me to…”
Offer specific support.
“I’m bringing dinner over on Friday. Let me know if there’s anything specific you need.”
Acknowledge the depth of their pain.
“I can’t imagine how much you miss them, but I’m here for you in any way I can be.”

Sometimes, the best thing to say is nothing at all. Remember Job’s three friends—they sat with him for seven days and didn’t speak a word. Your presence, a hug, a text, a phone call, or even a card can mean so much more than a cliché ever could.

An 11-year-old girl with long, straight brown hair wearing eyeglasses hugging her 63-year-old bald, chubby uncle. Both share a warm and loving expression in a cozy indoor setting. — A heartfelt hug that says more than words ever could—cherished moments between family.

Practical Ways to Comfort Others

Show up. If you don’t know what to say, just be there. Your presence speaks volumes.
Reach out. Send a thoughtful text, make a phone call, or drop off a meal.
Listen. Give the grieving person space to share their memories and emotions without trying to fix their pain.
Be patient. Grief doesn’t have a timeline, and your consistent support will mean more than you realize.

A Call to Comfort

As you walk through your own grief, remember that God can use your pain to bring hope to others. The comfort you receive from Him is not just for you—it’s a gift to be shared. Be the person who shows up, who listens, and who reflects God’s love to those in need.

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