When You Struggle to Love Yourself

Loving yourself isn’t something often discussed in Christian circles. It can feel selfish, even prideful. Yet, Jesus made it clear in Matthew 22:39: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” How can we truly love others if we don’t first understand how to love ourselves? This isn’t about vanity or self-centeredness; it’s about recognizing your worth through God’s eyes. So let’s look at when you struggle to love yourself.

A realistic image of a chubby, bald white man with a goatee sitting beside a cozy campfire, relaxing with a glass of iced tea. He’s wearing casual outdoor clothes with a peaceful, content expression, surrounded by trees under a starry evening sky. — Sometimes the best way to recharge is to slow down, breathe, and enjoy the simple moments. 🍂🔥

What Loving Yourself Really Means (Biblically)

Loving yourself doesn’t mean placing yourself above others. It means seeing yourself as God sees you—worthy of love, grace, and purpose. Psalm 139:14 says, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” This verse isn’t just poetic; it’s a declaration of truth. You are God’s creation, crafted with intention.

A realistic image of a chubby, bald white man with a goatee standing in front of a mirror. His reflection shows himself as overweight, with a thoughtful, slightly saddened expression, highlighting the struggle with self-perception. — The reflection we see isn’t always the truth God speaks over us. Look deeper. 💙

Personal Story: The Guilt in the Mirror

I’m 120 pounds overweight. I’ve been overweight most of my adult life. Twice, I lost over 100 pounds, only to regain it. Every time I look in the mirror, guilt stares back at me. This struggle isn’t just about weight—it’s about worth. For years, I believed my reflection defined my value. But loving yourself isn’t about perfection; it’s about seeing yourself through God’s lens. This is an area where I still need God’s help. Loving myself isn’t always easy, but it’s necessary.

The Danger of Self-Neglect

When we neglect self-love, we:

Accept unhealthy patterns and relationships.
Burn out from trying to prove our worth.
Feel unworthy of God’s grace and blessings.

Self-neglect often stems from the mistaken belief that our value is tied solely to our productivity, success, or the approval of others. We push ourselves beyond healthy limits, ignore our physical and emotional needs, and believe rest is a luxury rather than a necessity. This can lead to chronic stress, emotional exhaustion, and even physical health issues. Over time, we lose touch with who we are beyond our roles and responsibilities.

Neglecting ourselves affects every area of our lives—our health, our relationships, and even our ability to serve God effectively. By prioritizing self-care, we honor the bodies and minds God has given us, enabling us to live out His purpose with strength and joy.

A realistic image of a chubby, bald white man with a goatee looking frazzled and overwhelmed. He is juggling a laptop, a Bible, and a toolbox, symbolizing the struggle to balance work, church, and property maintenance. The background is cluttered with items representing these responsibilities. — When life feels like a juggling act, remember—balance isn’t found in perfection, but in grace. ⚖️

Personal Story: The Workaholic Trap

Early in life, I was a workaholic. I worked 50-60 hours a week at my job, plus commitments at church and the school where Wendy was the principal. Saying no was not in my vocabulary—to my boss, my pastor, or anyone. I thought I was doing the right thing, but I was exhausted. A men’s group study helped me realize I was burning out.

I found balance for a while, but then I started chasing my dream of becoming a CTO. I was up at 5:00 AM, out the door by 5:30, and not home until after 7:00 PM. My best friend, who is also my doctor, told me that job would have killed me if I hadn’t been fired. Losing that job was the best thing that happened to me. Since 2015, I’ve been intentional about setting boundaries.

Since Wendy passed and I started this blog, I still have to push myself to maintain balance. Writing seven blog posts a week, managing social media, and handling advertising is a full-time job. But even though I’m by myself, it’s important. I set boundaries: I don’t work past 5:00 PM. Loving yourself means valuing your well-being enough to rest.

How Jesus Modeled Healthy Self-Love

Jesus showed us what healthy self-love looks like. He withdrew to pray, rested when needed, and set boundaries. Luke 5:16 says, “But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” He wasn’t driven by people-pleasing. He knew His purpose and prioritized His relationship with the Father.

Practical Steps When You Struggle to Love Yourself

Speak Truth Over Lies: Combat self-criticism with scripture like Psalm 139:14 and Romans 8:1.
Practice Gratitude: Acknowledge your strengths and growth areas without shame.
Set Boundaries: Protect your mental, emotional, and spiritual health.
Engage in Rest: Prioritize activities that renew your spirit.
Accept Grace: You don’t have to be perfect to be loved.

A slimmer, happy bald white man with a goatee (representing Raymond) wearing a polo shirt, standing confidently in front of older adults, teaching a Sunday School class. He holds a Bible and smiles warmly as the class listens attentively in a cozy, welcoming setting. — Teaching God’s Word isn’t just about knowledge—it’s about sharing the joy of His truth. 📖✨

Loving Yourself Helps You Love Others Better

When you love yourself, you’re not pouring from an empty cup. You can extend grace, patience, and kindness to others because you’ve first received it for yourself. Ephesians 5:29 reminds us, “After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church.”

Closing Reflection & Challenge – When You Struggle to Love Yourself

Jesus said in Matthew 22:39, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” This isn’t a suggestion; it’s a command. Loving yourself isn’t optional—it’s foundational.

Challenge: This week, do one act of kindness for yourself. Whether it’s resting without guilt, setting a boundary, or speaking life over yourself, take that step. Loving yourself is a daily decision to see yourself through God’s eyes.

Call to Action

Follow Us: Stay connected on Facebook for more encouragement.
Share: Help others by sharing this post.
Reflect and Act: Take one step toward self-love this week.
Subscribe: Join our newsletter for biblical insights and practical encouragement by completing the form below!