From Checklist to Crying Out: Learning to Pray from the Heart

When Prayer Becomes a Task, Not a Relationship

I had a hard realization last week while preparing to teach on the Holy Spirit and His role in our prayer lives: most of my prayers aren’t really from the heart. So let’s look at learning to pray from the heart.

They’re from the checklist.

“Please save so-and-so.”

“Help this person through that situation.”

“Be with me today.”

Check. Check. Check.

I wasn’t pouring out my soul. I wasn’t groaning in the Spirit like Romans 8:26–28 describes. I was reciting a spiritual to-do list. My prayer life had become more about tasks than trust—more like filing a report than having a relationship.

Sure, I pray for the lost. I lift up family and projects I am involved in. But if I’m being honest, most of those prayers require no action from me, no vulnerability, no faith. They’re whispered hopes, not bold cries.

But that’s not what God wants.

An open, empty journal on a wooden table with a pen, a Bible, and a coffee mug nearby, overlaid with the words “LORD, I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.” — When words fail, God still listens. Prayer begins with the heart, not perfect sentences.

When I’ve Really Prayed

There have been moments in my life—raw, painful, gut-wrenching moments—when I truly cried out in prayer.

I remember when my sister Saundra was thrown from a horse and declared brain-dead. I didn’t offer a polite petition. I demanded answers from God. “Why? Why keep her alive for three weeks only to let her die?”

When I lost my job and had no idea how I was going to support my family, I fell to my knees and begged God to make a way.

When I prayed for Wendy to be healed, I didn’t recite a request. I pleaded. And when God chose to heal her in heaven instead of here, I cried out in grief and anger because she wasn’t here to do life with me anymore.

There were other moments too—during my divorce, while raising kids, and when the weight of life was more than I could carry. Those weren’t scripted prayers. They were desperate, messy, vulnerable cries from deep within my soul.

A man kneels alone in a dark room, his head bowed in prayer and illuminated by a single beam of light, with the words “CRYING OUT TO GOD” overlaid above. — Sometimes prayer isn’t quiet—it’s desperate. When you’ve got nothing left, God is still listening.

But What About the Other Days?

Outside of those major life moments, most of my prayers haven’t had that kind of depth. They’ve been thoughtful, sure. But not urgent. Not sacrificial. Not faith-filled.

I don’t want a prayer life that’s just polite and predictable.

I want one that’s powerful and personal.

A crumpled piece of paper with the handwritten plea, “O God, please help me,” and a visible tear stain, lying on a wooden surface beneath the text “RAW PRAYERS REACH HEAVEN.” — God isn’t waiting for polished prayers—He listens when we’re broken.

A New Approach

This morning, I tried something different.

Before I said a word in prayer, I paused. I reflected on what I was about to say. I thought about the people I was praying for—not just their names, but their souls. I considered the weight of their need for Jesus. I asked God for urgency—not just in words, but in my spirit.

I felt empathy for those who are struggling. I laid out my deep desire to serve the Lord and reach the lost. I didn’t just mention my personal projects—I invited God into them.

And something shifted.

It wasn’t fancy. But it was real.

A young woman sits at a wooden table, gazing thoughtfully out a window with a coffee mug in hand and an open Bible in front of her, accompanied by the text “WHAT’S ON YOUR HEART?” — Prayer begins with reflection. Take a moment and ask—what’s really on your heart today?

The Spirit Helps Us Pray

Romans 8:26–28 (New Living Translation)

26 And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.

27 And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will.

28 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

A peaceful forest at sunrise with rays of light piercing through the trees, where a lone person sits in stillness, overlaid with the words “THE HOLY SPIRIT HELPS US PRAY.” — Even when words fail, the Spirit intercedes—rest in His presence.

Breaking Down Romans 8:26–28 – Learning to Pray from the Heart

These verses remind us that prayer is not something we do alone.

Verse 26: “The Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness…”

There are moments when life knocks the breath out of us—when we have no idea how to pray, or even what to ask for. In those moments, the Spirit steps in and prays for us. Not with fancy words, but with groanings—deep, soul-level communication we can’t even articulate.

Verse 27: “The Father who knows all hearts…”

God understands what the Spirit is saying. He hears the intention behind the groaning. The Holy Spirit isn’t guessing what to pray—He intercedes for us perfectly, always in alignment with God’s will.

Verse 28: “God causes everything to work together…”

This verse is often quoted by itself, but it’s part of this larger truth: Even when we’re at our weakest, even when we don’t know what to pray, God is working. He’s weaving our pain, confusion, and longing into a purpose-filled plan for His glory and our good.

This passage assures us that prayer is not about getting the words right. It’s about bringing our heart. And when we do, the Spirit carries our prayers straight to the Father with perfect clarity.

A solitary figure kneels in prayer in a moonlit olive grove, surrounded by dark trees and illuminated softly from above, with the words “NOT MY WILL, BUT YOURS” displayed overhead. — In the darkest moments, surrender is the most powerful prayer.

So Let’s Look at How Jesus Prayed

If I want to have a more vibrant prayer life, maybe the best place to start is by looking at Jesus.

Over the next few days, we’re going to take a closer look at how Jesus prayed—when He prayed, what He said, what He felt, and what it teaches us about talking to the Father.

If your prayer life feels dry, shallow, or mechanical… you’re not alone. But you don’t have to stay there.

Join me as we rediscover the beauty and depth of prayer by walking in the footsteps of Jesus.

Let’s Keep Growing Together

If this post spoke to your heart, I invite you to keep journeying with me—not just through this blog series, but through the resources God’s placed on my heart to share.

📘 Check out my two books, available now at

👉 www.discipleblueprintpress.com

The Greater the Love, The Deeper the Grief: Hope Beyond the Tears – A heartfelt guide for those walking through loss, built on the promises of God’s love and comfort.

Confessions of a Pray-er to be Named Later: The Rookie’s Guide to Training for Prayer Victory – A candid, practical book on growing in prayer from someone still in the trenches.

🙏 Follow our Facebook page for updates, daily inspiration, and the rest of this prayer series: @discipleblueprint

👉 Check out our other blog posts: https://discipleblueprint.com/blog-2/

✍️ I’d love to hear from you. Comment below: What does “praying from the heart” mean to you?